Up till this morning, I've never had the experience of being an on-air expert and frankly, it was a little weird. I called in at 6 a.m. and listened to the conversation between the host, Mel and Ariel Gobert, author of Red Hot Revolution. Two commercial breaks later, I'm on and I'm still wondering how I can help Ms. Gobert market her self-published book.
So I did what I do best: I talked about myself.
But then a brilliant idea occurred to me. Maybe she should link up with a local reporter and take them on one of her blind dates. It could open up a discussion about women in their 50's who have had careers, raised kids, etc., now entering the dating scene. My former editor would've given me a raise on the spot for an idea like that. In fact, I was starting to wish that I was a reporter so I could do the story!
However, my idea bombed. Frankly, I think it horrified her. Hours later when I was at the gym, I realized that that is one of the problems we face when pursuing our dreams. We say we want something and yet, we're frightened of apprearing foolish. We tell the world and ourselves how much we want it but we won't do the things that terrify us like, finish a book, find a new man or lose weight.
In a way, I feel lucky to be a foolish person, or a person who doesn't give a shit if people think I'm foolish. A few years ago, one of my husband's colleagues turned to me and to my face said, "I read your book and I was so embarassed for you. Those love scenes were so..."
She shuddered as if she'd been mind raped. But I said, "Thank you."
And I meant it.