Sometime yesterday afternoon, my mom won Best In Show for Best Bitch Slap Ever.
Mom won a free catered lunch for her office and a total dumb ass had the balls to come up to her and ask, "So what are they giving us?"
Mom: Sandwiches from Subway.
Dumb Ass: Did you ask what kind?
Dumb Ass: What if they give us shit?
Mom: Then you can eat it.
I'm so proud that I could cry. But don't you wish you could come up with zingers like that on the fly? I always think of good stuff to say days later.